Yes, I'll have some videos, and pictures, & some new shit I like every now & then . But Sorry Kiddos - this blog wont be about "what's hot, or new, or instyle" . It wont be center on celebrities & new shit coming out, because honestly I could give less of a fuck . This blog will be centered around my thoughts, my poems, my wishes, my dreams, and my escapes .

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Kanye's new video Feat. Rihanna "PARANOID"

Loved it, Loved it . LOVED IT .

I was high the first time I watched it

& I loved it

I was high the 2nd time I watched it

& i STILL loved it <3

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

finally giving up on MRC ;

This blog is a sad one .
It hurts, so much .
So much .
If you know me well,
you know that
Pleasure P aka Marcus Ramone Cooper
has been a HUGE part of my life .
insanelyyyyyyyy HUGE .
he'll never understand
the world will never understand
& i dont fucking blame them
because i dont even understand
why im so crazy about this guy
I've been ridinq with him since April o5
I've met him a couple times
I even have his personal cell number
some might call me lucky
some might call me crazy
but the thing is - - - -
No one understands ,
except this girl Jennifer .
I remember summer 07 - and I remember it well .
That was Pretty Ricky ERA .
Me & Wendy were best of friends .
Everyone envied us .
We would call Pretty Ricky 24/7
they would call us back .
We met them .
They commented us on myspace
They message us on myspace .
They were my brothers .
They were my life .
and inevitably ,
I started falling more deeper in love with MRC
Everyone from that Pretty Ricky ERA
has came to their senses & forgot about Pretty Ricky .
They no longer give a fuck .
Shit, I wish it was that easy for me .
I wish I could just forget alll the memories .
I wish I could just forget sitting down with Marcus
talking to him for hours , laughing with him .
I wish I could forget how his skin felt under my lips .
I wish I could forget how his voice sounded in my ear .
I wish I could forget how my heart would jump -
when I saw it was him calling my cell phone .
I know people think im bugging -
but My love for this dude is real .
Realer than I've ever felt about anyone .
His voice sends me to the heavens & back .
& When Im next to him, I want to throw up & cry all at the same time .
I am in love , with a stranger .
Sure, he has my name saved in his phone .
& He'd probably recongzine me, if we meet again .
But that's it .
Im not in his life .
They say if you want something bad enough,
you'll get it .
I dont believe that .
Ive been dying for this dude for over 4 years now .
Im finally letting go . . .
I will forever be a fan of his . . .
& I will forever love him . . .
But I will no longer be in love with him .
It's already killing me . .
I just heard one of his songs "Under"
& started crying . .
I dont know whats harder -
holding on or letting go .
Fuck, i wish yall could see inside my heart .
Words cannot explain, they just cant .
A lot of yall wont understand this blog -
you wont understand why I feel this way .
I cannot control who I am in love in with .
I wish I could , I wish I could just forget about him .
You guys dont understand how hard it is .
This aint no groupie shit,
this is a love that lives insides me , wakes me up at night,
keeps the smiles coming and keep tears rolling .
people say just call him and tell him
yeah fucking right .
where the hell would i start?
how do i go about telling him
that's his my EVERYTHING
when he barely knows my name .
Marcus is a lost hope .
We'll never be together .
People say "have faith"
thats all i've fucking had!
I've believed in him so long .
I've loved him so long .
Do you know how tiring it is
to be in love with someone
who barely knows you?
I dont think you do .
Well it fucking hurts .
It kills my heart on the daily .
Aw Damn, Here come the tears .
Im tired of being tired .
Im tired of for getting a piece of him .
I want all of him, forever with me .
Im tired of feeling like this .
Im finally letting go..
For good .
I am at peace ,
and fighting a war with myself all at the same time .
I loved you then -
I love you still .
I always have MRC ,
I always will .
but I am finally . .
moving on with my life .
so - Goodbye, old love .
My heart can't take it anymore .

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Drizzy Drake Rodgers ;

Man I was trying to wait until I uploaded my pictures & videos
But i cant fucking wait, I gotta tell you nowwwww . loloolol

I almost DIDNT go to the concert,
came realllllllllllllllllllllllll close to not going,
my friends werent picking up their phones,
and it was 7 and i wasnt even ready
so i hurried and got ready,
and one of my friends took me to the concert
but she told me, she couldnt bring me home,

so I told two choices,
not go, waste my ticket .
or go & be stuck out in downtown houston

Obviously, you already know which one I did .

So i got there , an hour late, and it was PACKED .
shit I mean PACKED . I pushed my way allll the wayyy to the front .
Finally, when I get to the front, there's a shitload of niggahs in the front row .
Like C'mon How Homo is That?
Then they made it EXTRA worse by grabbing my ass and whispering in my ear and shit
I almost moved away from front row because of that shit .
But these white boys starting lighting up blunts
so i started pining with them ,
while the concert was going on !
( how BOLD is that ? )
Nobody , secruity-wise ,
even fucked with us . . . . .

Drake didnt even come out till 11;10 . .
They had a buncha lames open for him . .
Only good person was this girl called "IB3" , shes a rapper ..
anyways . . . .
Drake finally comes out ( looking sooo much better in person )
and he;s got on a black shirt, khaki cargos, and black jordans
& they played a bunch of Houston songs,
everyone was getting wideeeee up,
Drake was saying how much he loves Houston
& how much It inspires him everyday . .
Then he talks about one of the best days of his life . .
He says he was rolling thru the streets of Houston
just getting dumb high and crusing . .
and what was the soundtrack to this experience?
And he drops . . .
Everyone in the whole place starting rapping along to the song
( you aint a true Houstonian if you dont know all the words to that song )
Drake started rapping along , too
Man, that was my favorite part of the concert to tell you the truth . .
It was TOO Offficiall . .
Then he says "that;s what inspired this song"
and he drops "November 18th" !
Damnnnnn that's my shittt !
When I was recording it,
the camera was bouncing the whole time
because I was sooo crunk . hahaha
Then Drake perform's everyone's favorite
" UP TOWN ft Bun B"
and who else comes out but Bun B !
Man everyone got wideee when that happened .
Then he performed "Every Girl"
and he tricked us , because he made us think Lil Wayne was coming out
( but he didnt , lol )
And Drake was like -
"I dont wanna fuck every girl in the world . .
But I'd like to fuck every girl in Houston" hahahaha
He did other songs like
"Best i ever had"
and at this point,
he comes close to the audience
and tells me "IM THE BEST HE EVER HAD" :)

Dyinggg, much? Damn right .

He did Successful, Brand New, Sooner than Later, and some others .

The crowd was packed, and i could tell some girls around me were getting irritated
by me knowing all the words to every song, and singing them as loud as I can
( I cant sing AT ALL btw lol ) but shit, THATS Drake, so i really didnt give a fuck

I swear, we had made eye contact at least 5 times, and each time my heart fluttered
he looks ALOT better in person, like AMAZINGLY beautiful . . . .

Next thing you know, the concert's over . . And Im sad

But I wasnt for long, because I ended up winning
Vip Ticket to The Afterparty at Club Next,
for answering Drake trivia !
( I was all alone, this whole time, mind you )
So I go, and NEXT IS PACKED .
So many people are there, its ridiculous .
I think there was more people trying to get in the afterparty
than at the concert , itself ..
I went up to VIP, and I sat down,
I was vibing to the music .
Then I went towards the back .
Next thing, I know the door opens,
and Drake comes out with at least 7 girls around him . . .
I didnt giva fuck who was around him
I jumped up & went close to him
Trying to say how i loved him & his music so much
But the groupies were on hard-boddddyyy
I just got a piece of his arm
and yelled in his ear " you inspire me "
thats all i said, simply .
He smiled & said "something in common"
and kissed me on the cheeeek
( oh yeah, i almost went into cardiac arrest at this point )
and walked away with his super groupies
who gave me the ugliest looks in the world

Drake didn't perform, he just went on stage and shit .

I saw a couple people I knew,
I danced with a couple people,
anc conversating with some others,
but the whole time I was focused on getting close to Drake .
Next thing you know, Next is CLOSING :(
and Drake is NOWHERE in sight . . .
I didnt even get a pictures with him . .
I was happy, but dissapointed .

Everyone leaves the club,
Hella people are standing outside,
trying to either get a glimpse of Drake
or trying to Parking Lot Pimp . .

Then Reality set IN,
how the hell was I getting home to Sugarland?
I reached for my phone, It was COMPLETLY dead :O
I didnt know what the hell i was gunna do . .

So here I am, walking through the streets of Downtown Houston,
not knowing where the hell im going, confused as fuck,
My blazers are getting EXTRA EXTRA dirty,
and the boys in parking lots are calling me to come over to them,
so even grab my arms, to try to get my attention,
Even though some were real cute, I ignore them all,
and lose more hope by the second . .

What the hell was I going to do?
Time went by, so slowly . .

I was so deeep in thought,
that I almost didn;t see
My friend Steve stop his car next to me
& scream my name . .
I walked over to him,
and explained the sitation,
and he said he could take me home .
We went thru McD's drive thru,
and then he dropped me home . .

It was 2:55 and I was tired as fuck .
Got on the computer for a milli second, and hit the sheets .

And even though I went through ALL THE SHIT,
I wouldn't even done it ANY DIFFERENTLY .

This concert,
will never EVER leave my memories .

I'll forever be one of your fans ,
that;s THE truth .

Robyn Fenty UNCENSORED .

Heres a couple pictures of Rihanna running through the web :

im not really dissapointed in Rihanna or anythinq . .
Everyone;s took a naked picture .
Her's just ended up all over the internet :P

Thursday, May 7, 2009

as we go on , we remember . .

So, I got my cap & gown in the mail today . .
I stared at it for a long time . .
for some reason, tears came to my eyes . .

Can't I go back to the 4th grade - - -
when boys chased the girls all over the playground
and I was the Queen of hopscotch . .
when the only thing that hurt me was Skinned knees .

Now, Im about to graduate ,
all the friends that I made in high school ,
we will all be scattered across different places in the US ,
everythinq will change . .
the friends Ive made has all changed my life in some way,
they've contributed a big deal to the person you see before you today .
Now I have to go somewhere, and start completely over,
make new friends, and memories . . :(

All the crazy memories of high school run through my head ,

freshman year - at ThurGood Marshall (my BEST year)
back in Mo City , all the happiness, Varsity Track,
singing on the bus on the way to track meets . .

sophmore year - at BF Terry
I was new, and the hottest thing this town had ever seen
So much drama, but so much fun . . & KIPPING , awh shittt .

junior year - senior year at Lamar Consolidated
whoooo .... these 2 years were the MOST stressful in my whole life . .
but the crazy ass memories i made, are unforgettable .
and if i could go back, i wouldnt have done ANYTHING differently .

the friends i made, the girls i fought, the boys i kissed,
the write-ups i got, the lockers i shared, the game i cheered,
the meets i ran, the hallways i strolled, the pictures i took
those memories will last F O R E V E R (*)

Life goes so fast - if you blink , you might miss it .

as a kid, everyone tells you "your too young for this, for that"
and you think in your head . . i cant WAIT till i turn 18 .

Well why arent I jumping for joy?

I'll be startinq COLLEGE in the fall,
in a new town, where i know pretty much NOBODY . .
no one is going to wake up for Class,
no one is going to remind me about my exam,

Im, Im . . Im an ADULT :|